If you have been following my training this year compared to years past. It should not be a big surprise that I have burned out. When I started my blog in 2015 I was very excited to train and attempt a Centurion walk. I could not walk enough miles. My mind could not process all the different scenarios. I found that to be a major driving force in my training. I was successful at the United States Centurion Walk.

In 2016 I was excited to add International Centurion walks. This was made possible by my Grandfather and my Father. The business they built up that I joined later was a big success. That success and my willing Wife saw me train and race for three international Centurion badges. By my third international race I was running out of gas but still excited.

2017 saw me in The Netherlands for my fifth Centurion badge. Success in The Netherlands was through momentum and experience. That momentum and experience was not enough to get to 100 miles in New Zealand. In New Zealand the race was hard. I struggled. It was not fun anymore. In the seven months since, my training has been a struggle. What was fun and exciting has become laborious. Having to wait a full year for redemption is mentally draining. Much more than I would have ever guessed. I am not feeling the same love as I felt before.

I only need success in New Zealand to become the fifth person worldwide to hold six Centurion badges. You would think that fact alone would excite and motivate me. It has not. I know I alone turned my extreme goals into work. My goals were so extreme I did not know any other way to achieve them. It had to be hard work to make it happen. I could have just raced one attempt per year. Drawing out my training over a longer time. I thought it easier to stay at Centurion level than to go up and down in training. Maybe I was wrong. What if you were not able to get back into form. I started a blog to record my training toward a Centurion walk. The good days. The injuries. The tough days. The success and the failures. I wanted to record every aspect. Nothing left out. Nothing hidden. This is what you signed up for. This is what you might experience. This is what I have experienced. That is the reason I have written this. Full disclosure.

I am going to retire from walking competitively. In a Centurion you compete against the clock not people. I don’t, some racers might. What was once fun has become work. I am going to get rid of my sports watch. I am going to go back to the way I use to walk. The way I started. Exciting walks at what ever pace I feel that day. What ever distance I want. Going to make it fun again. Smell the roses and listen to the birds. I will still race. A Marathon or two. My 50k every February. Every United States Centurion. An international Centurion every few years. I want to have a photo of myself beside every Centurion worldwide. I want to have a photo collection numbering in the hundreds.  I won’t have any goals at races. Just walk however far or fast I want. Walk with other aspiring Centurion’s. Be an encourager. Cry when I watch them Finish. Like I always have at my own finishes.  Remembering how it felt and feels to chew the pavement for 100 miles. Remembering  how much time and work it takes to achieve a goal set at that level. Join in the festivities.

It has been my own self imposed training standards that have killed my joy. Having to meet a certain distance. Having to meet a certain pace average. Having to meet a set number of reps. It was more fun when I just followed the way my own body felt each day.  When I didn’t meet my set standard I feel like I failed.  Time to change up my training. Make the emphasis “Time on my feet.” Take that joy robbing standard meeting away.

In the meantime I have one more Centurion race in me. I will train hard. Add up those miles. I will be prepared. I will bring joy back to my Training. I will get that New Zealand Centurion badge.  Going to be fun!